Quotes

I'm not a killer, but if I were, I would hide the evidence better.

People always say I got away with murder, but I prefer to think of it as dodging a bullet.

I may have had a knife, but I never cut anyone's heart out. That's just a rumor.

If the glove doesn't fit, then you must acquit... or just blame someone else.

Societ...
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I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a drug smuggler. There's a difference.

We're the Millers, we don't do anything halfway.

Fake family, real adventure.

We may be fake, but the danger is real.

Family comes in all shapes and sizes.

Pretending to be a family has its perks.

In the fake family business, trust is everything...
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I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV.

Funny is when you're serious.

I can't tell jokes because I get the punchline wrong.

The problem with being funny all the time is that people forget you have feelings too.

I don't want to be remembered as the funny guy, I want to be remembered as the guy who made you laugh.

I'm...
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I'm not a big fat panda. I'm the big fat panda.

I refuse to be hampered by something as trivial as a moral code.

Whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe!

I'm a llama again! Wait... why do we even have that lever?

Is it hard to be this awesome? It must be because I make it look so easy.

Don't touch the hair. It's ...
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I'm not a bad girl, I'm just a world-class rebel.

I don't need a prince charming, I'm the queen of my own world.

I may be a savage, but I'll always be true to myself.

Bad girls have more fun, and I'm the life of the party.

I'm not afraid to break the rules, because I set my own.

Don't judge me until you've walked a ...
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I'm listening.

I'm a human being, not an answering machine.

I'm a psychiatrist, not a magician.

Coffee is like a Hug in a Mug.

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

I'm shaken, not stirred.

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

Love is just a chemical reaction, but it can't be r...
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I'm like a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest!

If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow the wax out of your ears!

You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel!

You're about as sharp as a bowling ball!

The wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead!

You're as useful as a screen door on a...
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I'm like a fine wine, getting better with age and leaving a smooth taste in your mouth.

I'm the sauce that keeps your playlist dripping with flavor.

I'm the king of the gravy game, spreading my smoothness everywhere I go.

I'm so fly, I make birds jealous.

Gravy is my name, and making hits is my game.

I'm the lyrical...
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I'm just trying to be the best version of myself, on and off the court.

When I step on the court, it's all about business. I'm there to win.

I don't pay attention to the haters, I'm focused on my own goals.

The sky's the limit, I'm reaching for the stars.

I don't believe in luck, I believe in hard work and dedication.

I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. - The Godfather (1972)

It's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. - Rocky Balboa (2006)

Life is a game, play it to win. - Bend It Like Beckham (2002)

Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. - North Dallas Forty (1979)

I'm glad I met you because you've shown me what true friendship looks like.

I never knew how much joy a person could bring into my life until I met you.

I will forever be grateful that our paths crossed because you've made me a better person.

Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

You have a way of makin...
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I'm falling for you like a shooting star, fast and unstoppable.

Every time I see your smile, I fall deeper for you.

Falling for you is like discovering a hidden treasure within myself.

My heart free falls every time I'm with you.

Falling for you feels like the sweetest surrender.

When I'm with you, I feel like I'm f...
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I'm Bruce Almighty! Look up 'almighty' in the dictionary, and you'll see a picture of me!

It's not easy being God, but someone's got to do it.

With great power comes great responsibility, and I am blessed with both.

I can turn water into wine, just don't ask me to do it at a children's birthday party.

Being God is like be...
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I'm a mechanic, not a magician, but I can still make your car disappear to my garage for a few days.

A car without brakes is like a mechanic without coffee - neither can function properly.

I have a black belt in fixing things, especially cars.

I don't need luck, I'm a mechanic.

I can't fix your relationship, but I can fix...
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I'm a man of many nicknames, but you can call me Schmidt.

Life is just a series of tests and anyone who says differently is failing.

Winston, you can't be an Eldert!

I operate under the assumption that everybody is just trying their best.

I always commit, Jess. If I commit, I always commit!

You know what they say, w...
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I'm a five-star man!

I don't just want the waitress, I want to destroy her.

I've got a bleeder.

I have a system, Dee. First, I warm them up with a little canned wine. Then, I let them know I have a bunch of knives. And if all else fails, I play the bad boy card.

I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of not living.

I'm a firm believer that music makes the world a better place.

Life is like a song, it has its ups and downs, but it's how you play it that matters.

Sometimes the best way to appreciate the sunshine is by enduring a little rain.

Country music has a way of speaking to the soul and telling the stories of everyday people.

In...
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I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. - Vito Corleone

May the Force be with you. - Star Wars

I'll be back. - Terminator

You can't handle the truth! - A Few Good Men

I'm not a princess. I'm a Khaleesi. - Game of Thrones

I never lose. Either I win or I learn. - Nelson Mandela

The only way to do great work is t...
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If you're not offending someone, you're probably not saying anything interesting.

Life is too short to waste on people who don't appreciate your dark humor.

You can't make everyone laugh, but you can definitely make people think.

If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to take risks and push boundaries.

The w...
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If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong.

Life's too short to waste on things you don't love.

Do what you love, love what you do.

Don't let anyone dull your sparkle.

Dream big, work hard, and never give up.

Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up.

Your attitude determines your altitude. Read More