You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants. – Billy Madison
It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here. – Billy Madison
I am the smartest man alive! – Billy Madison
You know, shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair! – Billy Madison
So go buy a hat! I’ve seen your head! It’s huge! – Billy Madison
Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it. – Mr. Deeds
You mess with the wrong guy, the wrong guy messes back! – Mr. Deeds
I’ll tell you what it is to love. It’s to be destroyed by a person. – Punch-Drunk Love
I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine. – Punch-Drunk Love
You can’t be a loser in life and a winner in kickboxing. – Happy Gilmore
Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo. – Happy Gilmore
The price is wrong, bitch! – Happy Gilmore
Why didn’t you just go home? That’s your home! Are you too good for your home?! – Happy Gilmore
I think I’m falling in hate with you. – 50 First Dates
I had a dream about my dead mum. She was even sluttier than I remember. – Click
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just allergic to jerks. – Blended
Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. – Click
That’s how you win at life, kids. Don’t trust anybody. – Grown Ups
Life isn’t about the ending, it’s about the story! – Bedtime Stories
I wanted to play football, but I was too small. I wanted to be a jockey, but I was too big. So I became a golfer. – Happy Gilmore
Sometimes the truth isn’t good enough, sometimes people deserve more. – Click
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can tell how much crap is in it. – Jack and Jill
You gotta make some noise. You gotta create some funny. – Funny People
When I listen to this song, I just want to shut my eyes and listen to the music. – The Wedding Singer
You have to deal with the fear of being a one-hit wonder every single day. – Funny People
Sorry, lady, but I don’t think you and the devil would hit it off. – Little Nicky
Hey, Mr. Bossman, people aren’t supposed to make their own hours. That defeats the whole purpose of being an employee. – Billy Madison
Oh, I’m sorry, lady. I didn’t realize you were menstruating. – Billy Madison
Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? – Eight Crazy Nights
He doesn’t need to hurl when he watches girls. – Eight Crazy Nights
That’s assault, brother! That’s assault! – The Waterboy
You know what Joe Louis said? ‘I can run, but I can’t hide.’ – The Longest Yard
I’m coming to pants your punk-ass! – The Waterboy
I can do it! I ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-can do it! – The Waterboy
You can’t hurt what ain’t there no more! – The Waterboy
Now that’s what I call high quality H2O. – The Waterboy
I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek. – Big Daddy
But if you’re gonna be a superhero and fly around saving the day, at least take care of yourself, right? – Big Daddy
What you doin’, playin’ a little grab-ass? – You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
I think I’m allergic to 50% of the periodic table. – 50 First Dates
Sorry, I can’t take my shirt off right now. I got baby nuts. – Big Daddy
You put your weed in there! – Grandma’s Boy
You are yelling. And I’m not going to have sex with another yelling human being again. – The Cobbler
You know what’s better than being a virgin? Being a born-again virgin. – The Cobbler
Why didn’t you say that before, Miss Smartypants, then I wouldn’t have had to make a fool out of myself in front of the whole courtroom! – Anger Management
Yeah, maybe I’m out of line. I’m out of line. But I’m not out of order! – Mr. Deeds
Oh yeah, life goes by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Click
You’re the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me… and that’s scary because I’ve had a really messed up life. – Punch-Drunk Love
Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever. – The Waterboy
I love that new car smell; it reminds me of the time I left a trophy in the trunk for two weeks. – The Wedding Singer
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