Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
If wine is the answer, aren’t we asking the wrong questions?
In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria.
I’d give up drinking, but I’m no quitter.
Alcohol is a great solution for all the problems it creates.
I have mixed drinks about feelings.
Beer: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.
I’m not drunk, I’m just very well dosed with alcohol.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Alcohol is not the answer, but it does make you forget the question.
Alcohol: because no good story started with a salad.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
In dog beers, I’ve only had one.
Alcohol: the cause and solution to all of life’s problems. – Homer Simpson
I would exercise, but it makes me spill my drink.
I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan
A hangover is not so bad if you enjoy drinking. – Luis Bunuel
Life is brew-tiful when you have a drink in hand.
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a wine enthusiast.
Love is like a bottle of gin, but a little love is like a clear-headed wine. – F. Scott Fitzgerald
In wine, there is truth. In tequila, there are consequences.
I’m not drunk, I’m just overly intoxicated by your beauty.
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it. – Robert E. Lee
I’m not addicted to alcohol, I’m just passionately experienced.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin
You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.
Save water, drink beer.
I work until beer o’clock.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I don’t need therapy, I just need a glass of wine.
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink, because when they wake up, that’s the best they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. – Benjamin Franklin
I’m not drunk, I’m in a perpetual state of happiness.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. – George Bernard Shaw
I drink to forget I drink too much.
Alcohol: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.
I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a professional drinker.
If there’s a will, there’s a wine.
Remember, ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.
The only time I drink responsibly is when I spill it.
Alcohol is like duct tape. It fixes everything, including boredom.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Beer: helping ugly people have more sex since 1862.
If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
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