Best Dumb and Dumber Quotes

So you’re telling me there’s a chance.

Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

We got no food, no jobs, our pets’ heads are falling off!

According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.

I have an idea. We’ll drive to Aspen by hopping on one foot.

You sold our dead bird to a blind kid?!

I can’t believe we drove around all day and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!

I desperately need to make armpit fart noises.

What is the soup du jour? It’s the soup of the day. That sounds good, I’ll have that.

Why would someone put a guarantee on a box? Because they know all they sold you was a guaranteed piece of shit.

We’re in the Rockies. Beautiful. Majestic. Can we trade it for all the money we spent on gas?

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!

Ah, excuse me. Uh, could you tell me how to get to the medical school? I’m supposed to be giving a lecture in 20 minutes, and my driver’s a bit lost.

Now, you’ve had your little kick and you’ve had your little fun, but I’ve got a question for ya: What are you going to do with your life?

We landed on the moon!

Best Dumb and Dumber Quotes part 2

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.

That John Denver’s full of shit, man.

What if he shot you in the face? That’s a risk we were willing to take!

We got no food, no jobs. Our pets’ heads are falling off!

Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

Harry, your hands are freezing! Well, your hands had a… well, that’s interesting!

Our next step, is sneaking into the police station and stealing back our money.

Throwing salt over your shoulder is good luck! Apparently, Jennifer broke up with her boyfriend yesterday.

He must work out. I guess one out of five is not bad.

Nice set of hooters you got there! Oh, yeah, I forgot, Harry. Yeah. Harry, I took care of it. Yeah, it’s all done. You did?! Yeah. I traded the ‘Vette for it straight up. Isn’t she a beaut?

Hey, wait, wait. You can’t leave. All the plants are gonna die!

You’re in luck! We have just arrived from Providence, Rhode Island!

Our pets’ heads are falling off?

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…and totally redeem yourself!

I’m going to hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.

This is going to be a game-changer!

Igloo… and Dumb and Dumber.

Samsonite! I was way off!

Want to hear the second most annoying sound in the world?

One in a million. So you’re telling me there’s a chance?

Harry, I took care of it. Yeah, it’s all done. You did?! Yeah. I traded the ‘Vette for it straight up.

Nice set of hooters you got there! Oh, yeah, I forgot, Harry.

Harry, your hands are freezing! Well, your hands had a… well, that’s interesting!

Got you good, you fucker!

Our next step, is sneaking into the police station and stealing back our money.

I don’t really recall. You don’t re-re-retard!

Yeah, hitchhiking’s probably not the best idea! Yeah, no shit.

Not gonna be able to make it, fellas. Uh, Lloyd… it’s a card game. I need cards.

Hey guys, it was just a dream. I just fell asleep.