Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now called giraffes.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop with a plastic bag.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can bake pancakes in the microwave.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris once punched a hurricane. The result was Hurricane Katrina.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to flush the toilet. He scares the crap out of it.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard, your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
Chuck Norris can turn on a light switch just by entering the room.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Pringle.
Chuck Norris can dribble a football… through a telephone.
Chuck Norris can find the needle in the haystack.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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