If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…and then give up because it’s clearly not working.
Dream big, like, really big…but don’t be surprised if your dreams remain just that, dreams.
Believe in yourself…unless you have a track record of making terrible decisions.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do…even if it pays minimum wage.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal…but it sure does feel that way.
Just keep swimming…even if you’re drowning in debt and regret.
Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, aim for something more realistic.
Opportunity doesn’t knock twice…because it probably got lost on the way.
The harder you work, the luckier you get…or so they say, but don’t hold your breath.
Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration…and maybe like 5% dumb luck.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it mediocre.
The only bad workout is the one you didn’t do…but let’s be honest, skipping it feels pretty good.
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re probably right…so why bother?
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened…but you can still cry a little, it’s okay.
The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday…unless you were pretty awesome yesterday, then just settle for mediocrity.
Keep calm and carry on…or panic and give up, the choice is yours.
Your time is limited, don’t waste it…unless wasting time is what you’re really good at.
Don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done…or tired, because who are we kidding?
Be the change you wish to see in the world…or just let someone else deal with it, honestly.
Success is not the key to happiness…but it sure does help fund your online shopping addiction.
Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey…unless that journey involves a long line at the DMV.
You only live once…and that’s probably for the best.
Don’t be afraid to fail…unless failing means you’ll lose your job, then maybe be a little afraid.
The best way to predict the future is to create it…or just wing it like the rest of us.
The only thing standing between you and your goal is…motivation, talent, resources, luck, and probably a few other things.
Every day is a new beginning…unless you’re stuck in Groundhog Day, then things are about to get repetitive.
If you can dream it, you can achieve it…unless your dream is to become a unicorn, then you might be out of luck.
Believe you can and you’re halfway there…to realizing you may have overestimated your abilities.
Fall down seven times, stand up eight…but maybe take a break after the fourth fall, nobody likes a quitter.
Don’t count the days, make the days count…unless it’s a Monday, in which case, count away. It’ll be over soon.
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary…and maybe in some alternate reality where laziness pays off.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken…and for good reason.
Winners never quit, quitters never win…but people who never start anything have the most free time.
Forget the mistake, remember the lesson…or just keep making the same mistake over and over again, it’s your life.
Rome wasn’t built in a day…but it probably could have been if they had faster Wi-Fi.
The best revenge is massive success…or a really scathing Yelp review.
Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…so you might as well cancel those plans and settle for mediocrity.
Failure is not an option, it’s a privilege…that we often exercise.
Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life…because you’ll probably be unemployed.
Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today…unless yesterday involved binge-watching your favorite TV show, then it was time well spent.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…but you also avoid embarrassing yourself, so it’s a win-win.
The more things change, the more they stay the same…so why bother changing anything?
Success is not in what you have, but who you are…unless you’re broke, then what you have really does matter.
Shoot for the stars…and then realize you’re afraid of heights and settle for shooting for something a little closer to the ground.
Follow your dreams…unless it’s a recurring nightmare, then maybe seek professional help.
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