Entertain Your Valentine with Hilarious Quotes

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not good at poems, let’s go get some food.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to remind your partner that they’re stuck with you.

Relationship status: Sleeping diagonally across the bed. Happy Valentine’s Day!

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular on Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day: The one day a year when being single is more expensive than being in a relationship.

I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but someone’s choices.

I don’t need a Valentine, I need 50% off chocolate on February 15th.

Love is in the air. Unfortunately, so is the flu.

Instead of a fancy dinner, let’s just have a food fight on Valentine’s Day.

If loving you is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. But I reserve the right to be wrong on February 15th.

Valentine’s Day: The one day a year when it’s acceptable to stalk your crush.

Roses are red, violets are blue, wine is cheaper than dinner for two.

If there’s no pizza involved, I’m not interested in Valentine’s Day.

I love you more than chocolate…but seriously, don’t touch my chocolate.

Love is like a box of chocolates, expensive and disappointing.

Roses are red, violets are blue, all my love songs are about food.

Entertain Your Valentine with Hilarious Quotes part 2

If love is a battlefield, then Valentine’s Day is the peace treaty… or the declaration of war.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to buy her chocolate.

Roses are red, violets are blue, this Valentine’s Day, I’m eating for two.

Valentine’s Day is the only day when I can eat candy hearts without judgment.

You’re the reason I get up every morning. Just kidding, it’s the alarm clock.

I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye… and that says a lot.

I’d give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love is fleeting, but pizza is forever.

I’m allergic to flowers, so let’s stick with chocolate on Valentine’s Day.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.

I hope you find someone who looks at you the way Kanye looks at Kanye.

Relationships are like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

Love is blind. It’s also deaf, dumb, and occasionally forgetful.

If love is a battlefield, then my war paint is chocolate stains on my shirt.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Valentine’s chocolates can be shared… or eaten by you.

I love you more than wine, and that’s saying something.

Valentine’s Day: When your date hopes you’ll bring more than just your A-game.

Love is like a romantic comedy, except there’s no witty dialogue and it ends in tears.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

I love you more than a couch potato loves Netflix.

Valentine’s Day is just a fancy way of saying ‘Buy me stuff’.

You’re the sprinkles on my cupcake… and trust me, I really like cupcakes.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single… and my standards are too.

Love is sharing your popcorn even when you want to keep it all for yourself.

Valentine’s Day is the only day of the year when people actually try to be romantic… and fail.

I love you more than carbs. And that’s a really big statement.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you… sometimes.

Valentine’s Day: The one day a year when the price of flowers magically triples.