Did you try turning it off and on again?
Are you sure it’s plugged in?
I came here to drink milk and kick ass… and I’ve just finished my milk.
I’m disabled. I’m not a cheat, I’m just good at computer games.
People, what a bunch of bastards.
I’m a 32-year-old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing!
I don’t need to eat, I’m an I.T. guy.
I hope he’s got a backup. He’s gonna need a backup.
I’m not disabled! I just have a different operating system!
Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?
I’m not a wizard, I’m just good with computers.
I’m the ghost in the machine!
I’m a man of substance. Dork substance.
I’m not a people person. Just people like you.
I need to go and check my undercarriage, I think I might have wet myself a little bit.
I don’t think there’s a spark. My grandmother always said, ‘If you’re not sure what to say, say something honest. Your honesty will be remembered.’
I am a human. I exist in real life.
I’m not weird. I’m just wired differently.
Behind every successful IT guy is a substantial amount of caffeine.
I feel like a tiny cog stuck in a poorly-oiled machine.
Have you tried turning your social life off and on again?
Have you tried turning it off and on again, and then off again, and then on again?
I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social.
The Internet: Where Men are Men, Women are Men and Children are FBI agents.
I’m not ignoring you, I’m just debugging my life.
I speak fluent sarcasm.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Did you know that the word ‘queue’ is just ‘Q’ with four silent letters after it?
I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.
I wish there was a button to mute people in real life.
Some people say I’m paranoid, but there’s a 50% chance they’re just out to get me.
I’m not a nerd. I’m just more intelligent than you.
I don’t need a life. I have plenty of lives. Virtual ones, of course.
Existence is futile without Wi-Fi.
I’m not a computer geek, I prefer the term ‘intellectual badass’.
I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my Wi-Fi connection.
I’m not an introvert. I’m just conserving my social energy.
Sleep is for the weak. Coffee is for the strong.
I don’t believe in luck, I believe in hard drives.
Keep calm and let the IT guy fix it.
I don’t have a social life, I have Wi-Fi.
I’m sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m busy ignoring your call.
I’m not addicted to technology, I’m in love with it.
Error 404: Sleep not found.
I don’t need a life, I have the Internet.
I’m not socially awkward, I’m just technologically advanced.
I may be a geek, but at least I know how to spell it.
I dream in binary code.
I can’t function without my morning dose of caffeine and Wi-Fi.
I’m not lost, my GPS just wants to take the scenic route.
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