Funny Animal Quotes – Laugh Your Way Through The Animal Kingdom

I’m not fat, I’m just a well-rounded dog!

My cat wears sunglasses, she’s too cool for regular shades!

I don’t always chase my tail, but when I do, it’s hilarious!

I asked my cat if she’s a unicorn in disguise. She replied, ‘Meow-nicorns are real!’

If I were a fish, I’d totally swim upstream just to mess with the other fish!

Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!

Do birds have a favorite comedian? Yes, it’s Robin Williams!

I asked my dog why he’s always chasing his tail. He said, ‘Because it’s the only way I can catch it!’

If I were a monkey, I’d definitely swing from chandeliers instead of trees!

I told my cat a joke, but she just gave me a ‘purr’-plexed look!

Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems. Just like my cat!

My hamster asked me for a raise in his allowance. I told him, ‘Sorry buddy, but you’re already rolling in the dough!’

If cats had a secret society, I bet they would call it ‘The Purr-luminati’!

Why did the squirrel bring a ladder? To climb to new heights in his nut-gathering career!

I asked my dog if he believes in aliens. He said, ‘Of course, I saw one in the mirror this morning!’

If I were a penguin, I’d definitely start a ‘Slip ‘N Slide’ club on the ice!

Funny Animal Quotes – Laugh Your Way Through The Animal Kingdom part 2

My cat loves watching cooking shows. She’s convinced she could be a ‘Whisk’-Michelin-star chef!

I told my dog about the cat’s latest prank. He said, ‘That’s purr-fectly hilarious!’

If I were a chicken, I’d cross the road just to prove to everyone that I’m no ‘chicken’!

My hamster has ambitions of becoming a famous rapper. His first hit single? ‘Hamstagram’!

I asked my dog why he always sleeps so much. He replied, ‘Beauty rest is essential for my stunning looks!’

What do you call a sheep with a great sense of humor? A ‘lam-baa-dass’ comedian!

Why did the turtle bring a briefcase to the party? He wanted to ‘shell-ebrate’!

If I were a cat, I’d totally have a secret hideout behind the couch to plan my mischief!

My dog thinks he’s a detective. He’s always on the scent of mysteries and treats!

Why did the cow go to space? To get a ‘moona’-ture perspective on life!

If I were a bear, I’d definitely take up dancing. I would ‘bear’-y impress with my moves!

I asked my cat if she wanted to be a pirate. She replied, ‘Arrr… I’m ‘claw’-some enough already!’

Why did the squirrel join a circus? Because he could balance the nuts on his nose!

If I were a rabbit, I’d definitely become a magician. I’d ‘hop’-turely be the best at disappearing tricks!

My dog thinks he’s a fashion icon. He’s always ‘fetch’-ionably dressed for every occasion!

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the ‘wing’-manship skills to play the drums!

If I were a frog, I’d totally host my own talk show. My catchphrase would be ‘Ribbit for your thoughts?’

I asked my cat if she believes in horoscopes. She replied, ‘Purrhaps, but I think I’m already ‘meow-gical’ enough!’

Why did the kangaroo wear a parachute? To hop out of planes and shout, ‘G’Day, world!’

If I were a dog, I’d definitely become a famous painter. My masterpieces would be ‘paw’-satively stunning!

Why did the penguin bring a map to the desert? Because it heard there were ‘cool’ parties going on!

My cat thinks she’s a ninja. She’s always sneaking up on me and disappearing in the blink of an eye!

If I were a squirrel, I’d definitely become a parkour champion. I’d ‘leap’ into the spotlight with my acrobatic skills!

I asked my dog if he believes in aliens. He said, ‘Of course, I’ve seen some strange creatures at the dog park!’

Why did the cow become a stand-up comedian? Because it knew how to ‘moo’-ve an audience to laughter!

If I were a horse, I’d definitely join the circus. My specialty act would be ‘dancing hooves’!

My dog thinks he’s a supermodel. He’s always striking pose after pose for the camera!

Why did the squirrel become a detective? Because it had the ‘nut’-telligence to solve crimes!

If I were a pig, I’d definitely become a famous chef. I’d whip up ‘oink’-credible dishes!

I asked my cat if she could speak any foreign languages. She replied, ‘I’m fluent in ‘meow-tin’!’

Why did the turtle bring a map to the ocean? To find his way back to ‘shell-ter’ in case he gets lost!

If I were a chicken, I’d definitely go skydiving. I’d ‘fly’ into the sky and show off my feathers!

My dog believes he’s a hero. He’s always ready to save the day with his ‘woof’-tastic powers!

Why did the horse go to the gym? To work on his ‘neigh’-biceps and ‘gallop’-s!