I wouldn’t say I love my job, but I do enjoy the money it brings me.
Work hard so you can buy the things you pretend to ignore during meetings.
If at first, you don’t succeed, delegate it to someone else.
The only way to do great work is to avoid it as much as possible.
I’m not lazy, I just have a highly efficient energy-saving mode.
Work: it’s the best way to avoid going to the gym.
I don’t suffer from stress at work, I enjoy every minute of it.
I work well under pressure. As long as nobody is watching.
I don’t have a nine to five job, I have a when I take a nap job.
The secret to success is knowing which emails to ignore.
The office would be a much happier place if we all had ‘snooze’ buttons.
I don’t always have deadlines, but when I do, they’re all at the same time.
My boss told me to dress for the job I want, so I’m now sitting in a Batman costume.
I have a love-hate relationship with my job. I love weekends, and I hate Mondays.
I’m not just procrastinating, I’m procrasti-winning.
The best part of my job is the chair-swiveling championships during lunch breaks.
Work smart, not hard. Unless there’s free coffee, then work hard and think smart.
Taking a break every hour increases productivity. Trust me, I’m an expert.
My coworkers are the reason I need therapy. And coffee.
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
I pretend to work because they pretend to pay me.
If you think your job is pointless, just remember, there’s someone out there installing turn signals on BMWs.
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a yacht and park it next to your coworker’s yacht.
Remember, the first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
The only thing I’m committed to at work is my lunch break.
When life gives you lemons, find someone whose life gave them vodka and have a party.
To live a balanced life, you must have coffee in one hand and a donut in the other.
Keep calm and pretend it’s on the lesson plan.
The harder I work, the luckier my coworkers think I am.
I’m not saying I’m indispensable at work, but if I were to leave, it would definitely impact the quality of the office parties.
I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need a nap.
Keep your friends close and your snacks closer.
The key to success is a well-stocked snack drawer.
I don’t need a motivational speaker. I need a motivational coffee.
The only way to do great work is to avoid it until the last minute, then panic and pray for a miracle.
I’m not addicted to work, I’m just committed to never being broke.
Work is important, but I keep reminding myself that so are naps.
Every expert was once a beginner, but not every beginner wants to become an expert.
Stay positive, work hard, and remember that caffeine is a food group.
I work better when I’m surrounded by office supplies I don’t actually need.
Remember, success is not the key to happiness. The key to happiness is having a jacuzzi in the break room.
Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. I would join them, but I have to finish this PowerPoint presentation.
Don’t count the days, just pretend you know what you’re doing and hope for the best.
The best way to predict the future is to procrastinate and let things unfold on their own.
Work-life balance is important. That’s why I spend most of my life planning my next vacation.
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