I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already!
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships just don’t work out!
I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!’
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Why can’t a bicycle stand on its own? Because it’s two-tired!
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy!
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships just don’t work out!
I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh!
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
Why can’t a bicycle stand on its own? Because it’s two-tired!
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
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