I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I’m amazing at it!
The key to success? Take a break and eat a donut!
Coffee: because adulting is hard
I work well under pressure. As long as the pressure is applying for a job at a beach resort!
Work like nobody’s watching… because they’re not, they’re all on social media!
If I were a superhero, my superpower would be getting the most done in one hour nap.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Coffee: because mornings were never meant to be happy.
I’m not bossy, I just have great ideas.
I’m not late, I’m on time for the next dimension.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!
I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me!
I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.
I’m not a procrastinator, I just wait until the last minute because I work better under stress!
My job may be stressful, but at least it pays for my coffee addiction.
I’m not slacking off at work, I’m just delegating tasks to my future self.
I don’t have a short attention span, I just… oh look, a squirrel!
If you think I’m a multitasker, you should see me when I’m avoiding work!
The snooze button is my best friend and worst enemy.
I’m not disorganized, my desk is just strategically chaotic.
I don’t always make mistakes at work, but when I do, they’re epic.
Who needs stress balls when you have a coworker?
I don’t always work, but when I do, it’s just to afford my travel addiction.
I pretend to work, and they pretend to pay me.
My computer screen is not a mirror, but my reflection does say ‘take a break’.
I’m not lost, I’m just exploring the office space.
Work hard, nap harder.
Warning: my productivity levels are directly proportional to the amount of coffee in my system.
I’m not slacking off, I’m just practicing my patience.
I’m not afraid of hard work, I just prefer the path of least resistance.
If I had to choose between work and a tropical vacation, I’d choose a tropical vacation. Just saying.
I’m not a control freak, I just have better ideas than anyone else.
Don’t worry, the weekend is just around the corner… said everyone at work on Monday.
I’m not being sarcastic, I’m just allergic to stupidity.
In case of emergency, break for snacks!
To-do lists are just reminders of how much more I have to procrastinate.
I’m not an expert, but I did watch a YouTube video about it once.
I may not always get along with my coworkers, but I sure make them laugh by pretending to work.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips at work.
I’m not late, the office clock is just too fast.
My idea of a balanced diet is a cup of coffee in each hand.
I’m not unorganized, I just have my own system of chaos management.
Is it time for happy hour yet?
Coffee: because adulting is hard, and Mondays were invented to torture us.
Work hard, nap harder, repeat. It’s the secret to success!
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