I don’t sweat, I sparkle!
When life knocks you down, do a burpee and get back up!
My idea of a good workout is a brisk walk from the couch to the fridge.
The gym? Oh, you mean that place where I pretend I have muscles.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I work out because I really love food.
I run because punching people is frowned upon.
The only six-pack I’ll ever have is a fridge full of beer.
My goal at the gym is to work out long enough to justify eating a whole pizza.
I don’t always work out, but when I do, I make sure everyone knows about it.
I hate working out, but I love the guilt-free nap that follows.
I do yoga so I can bend over and pick up my tacos without pulling a muscle.
I don’t need a personal trainer, I need a personal motivator with tacos.
I like to think of resistance bands as ‘stretchy revenge’ for all those times life gets me down.
I like my workouts like I like my coffee – fast, effective, and preferably followed by a donut.
I work out to make room for dessert.
Exercise? More like extra fries!
I don’t do burpees because they’re good for me. I do them because I hate myself.
Boxers have knockout punches, I have knockout nachos.
I don’t sweat, I glisten… like a donut.
I lift weights because I refuse to date men who can’t open pickle jars.
I got 99 problems, and the gym solves all of them… except for my lack of coordination.
I don’t run. If you ever see me running, you should run too because something is probably chasing me!
I go to the gym to remind myself that I’m too pretty for this.
I’m not training for a marathon. I’m training for an all-you-can-eat buffet.
I work out so I can eat my body weight in chocolate without feeling guilty.
Exercise? I thought you said extra rice!
I do yoga to remind myself that I’m not actually a pretzel.
I workout because punching people is frowned upon.
I do squats because I want a butt that can crush watermelons.
Working out would be so much more fun if calories screamed when you burned them.
I don’t need a trainer, I need someone to follow me around and slap the junk food out of my hand.
I tried running but I kept spilling my wine, so I switched to yoga.
The only marathon I’ll ever run is a Netflix marathon.
I lift weights because it’s the closest I’ll ever get to being a superhero.
I work out so I can carry all my shopping bags in one trip.
My workout routine? It’s called ‘Netflix and stretch’.
They say laughter is the best workout, so I’m doing crunches with a side of comedy shows.
I don’t need a gym membership, I have a bed that I stretch out on for hours every morning.
Exercise? I thought you said accessorize!
I tried boxing once, but I quickly learned that I’m more of a lover than a fighter.
I do planks because I prefer my body horizontal rather than vertical.
Exercise? More like extra fries, please!
I tried doing squats, but my butt said no.
I don’t sweat, I emit glitter to intimidate the other gym-goers.
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