Funny Valentine Quotes

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you’re my valentine, I’ll bring pizza too!

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.

Valentine’s Day is like a box of chocolates, empty and full of calories.

My love for you is like pi, irrational and never-ending.

I’m single and ready to mingle, but most importantly, ready to eat all the discounted Valentine’s Day candy.

Love is in the air, along with endless cheesy pickup lines.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to remind yourself that love is overrated and chocolate is forever.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.

Love is like a fart, if you have to say you’re sorry, it’s probably too late.

Valentine’s Day: the one day a year you can publicly display your affection without being judged.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular on Valentine’s Day?

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, just like your head.

Love is a lot like a toothache, it’s annoying, painful, and can drive you insane.

Valentine’s Day is just a clever marketing ploy to boost the sales of greeting card companies.

Roses are red, violets are blue, it doesn’t really matter, let’s just order takeout.

Love is like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, and occasionally makes you want to throw up.

Funny Valentine Quotes part 2

Valentine’s Day: when single people feel lonelier than ever and couples feel the pressure to be the happiest they’ve ever been.

Roses are red, violets are blue, they say love is blind, but I can see right through you.

Love is like Algebra, you look at your ex and wonder why.

Valentine’s Day is for amateurs, I express my love 365 days a year – through sarcasm and pizza.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I may be single, but at least I’m not with you.

Love is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get, but you hope it’s not the weird coconut ones.

Valentine’s Day is the one day a year I don’t have to feel guilty about eating an entire box of chocolates all by myself.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you were a vegetable, I’d probably just visit you in the hospital occasionally.

Love is like a romantic comedy, except without the happy ending, and more awkward moments.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to watch horror movies and scare away any potential suitors.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m bad at poetry, but still better than you.

Love is like Monday mornings, it’s all fun and games until reality kicks in.

Valentine’s Day is a conspiracy by restaurants to make you spend more money on overpriced meals.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be broke.

Love is like a mosquito, annoying at first but eventually it sucks all the blood out of you.

Valentine’s Day is the holiday equivalent of going to the dentist, long waits, forced smiles, and occasional tears.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my love for you is unconditional, unless you eat the last slice of pizza.

Love is like a gym membership, expensive and often underutilized.

Valentine’s Day is like a time loop, everyone does the same thing every year and expects different results.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not a poet, and I don’t really love you.

Love is like Star Wars, some people just don’t get the hype.

Valentine’s Day is a reminder that sometimes it’s better to be alone than in a toxic relationship.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I can’t write poetry, but I can binge-watch Netflix with you.

Love is like a sneeze, it can come out of nowhere and take you by surprise.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect reminder that love is a battlefield, and I’m not ready for war.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I love myself more than I’ll ever love you.

Love is like a cold, it starts with a sniffle and ends with tissues everywhere.

Valentine’s Day: the only day of the year when it’s socially acceptable to eat an entire box of chocolates for breakfast.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with my dog, how about you?