If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.
Beauty fades, but dumb is forever.
I’m the boss, applesauce.
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen more and talk less.
Don’t pee in my ear and tell me it’s raining.
Justice is blind but not deaf.
Stupid is as stupid does.
You can’t fix stupid.
If it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense.
You’re entitled to your own opinions, but not your own facts.
You can’t argue with facts.
There’s no fool like an old fool.
Common sense is not so common.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
The truth shall set you free, but first, it will piss you off.
You can’t expect a chicken to lay a duck egg.
You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
God made idiots to make lawyers rich.
If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.
You can’t fix crazy.
A leopard can’t change its spots.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
It’s better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Actions speak louder than words.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
Honesty is the best policy.
There are no shortcuts to success.
You reap what you sow.
You can’t argue with crazy.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
You can’t please everyone.
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
If you’re not willing to risk the unusual, you’ll have to settle for the ordinary.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Believe in yourself, even if no one else does.
It’s better to be alone than in bad company.
If you want something done right, do it yourself.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
The best revenge is living well.
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
Don’t count the days, make the days count.
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts today.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
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