Categories: Quotes

Junior Soprano Quotes

The only thing thicker than his accent is his skull.

If brains were gasoline, he wouldn’t have enough to power a bumper car.

He’s got all the charm of a wet sock.

He’s as useful as a paperweight in a hurricane.

I’ve met doorbells with more intelligence.

His ideas are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

He couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag with a map and a flashlight.

He’s as subtle as a sledgehammer.

If he had a dollar for every stupid thing he’s said, he’d be a millionaire.

He’s got the creativity of a brick wall.

He’s so forgettable, I always have to double-check if he’s still there.

He’s a black hole of intelligence.

He’s got the attention span of a goldfish.

If he were any dumber, we’d have to water him twice a day.

He’s got all the charisma of a doorknob.

He’s like a broken record stuck on stupid.

He’s so dense, light bends around him.

He’s got the social grace of a bull in a china shop.

If he were any slower, he’d be in reverse.

He’s got a one-way ticket to the island of dim-witted fools.

He’s got more fillers in his sentences than a cheap knock-off bag.

He couldn’t pass a logic test to save his life.

He’s got the personality of a wet noodle.

His jokes are as funny as a root canal.

Junior Soprano Quotes part 2

He’s got the problem-solving skills of a broken calculator.

He’s a walking encyclopedia of useless information.

He’s got all the charm of a scorpion.

He’s as sharp as a butter knife.

If he were any slower, he’d be moving backwards in time.

He’s got the charisma of a wet blanket.

He’s like a human error message.

He’s a prime example of a walking confessional booth.

He couldn’t find his way out of a revolving door.

He’s got more hot air than a balloon convention.

He’s got the subtlety of a foghorn.

If he were any more clueless, he’d be eligible for a reality show.

He’s like a broken record of stupidity.

He’s got all the wit of a doorstop.

He’s as predictable as a sunrise.

If idiocy were a sport, he’d be the world champion.

He’s got the decision-making skills of a coin flip.

He’s like a broken compass, always pointing in the wrong direction.

He’s got the charm of a porcupine.

He couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

He’s as sharp as a marshmallow.

He’s got the patience of a toddler on a sugar rush.

He’s more lost than a needle in a haystack.

He’s got the subtlety of a bull in a china shop.

If he were any slower, he’d be moving in reverse.

He’s a walking contradiction of common sense.

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