National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes – Reliving the Classic Moments

Merry Christmas, shitter was full!

Why is the carpet all wet, Todd? I don’t know, Margo!

The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath.

I don’t know what to say except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.

We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye!

I dedicate this house to the Griswold family Christmas.

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.

Oh, I was just smelling – smiling. I was just blouse – browsing!

My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than her brain.

I’m sorry, this house is a little full.

It’s just a bit of a nip in the air, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s it. Nip in the air. I think I see my breath.

I’m sorry. This is our family’s first kidnapping.

The little lights aren’t twinkling.

We checked every bulb, didn’t we? Convenient timing with Clark getting laid off.

Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big? Bend over and I’ll show you.

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.

I don’t have a lot of patience for this vacation from hell.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes – Reliving the Classic Moments part 2

It looks great! It really does. You know, Sap is a lot funnier? I don’t have any.

I love it here, don’t you honey? You don’t have to answer that.

Our holidays were always such a mess. If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now!

Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.

I’ll have a blue Christmas without you.

We’re trying to put a little Rutledge family in our Christmas card.

Why is there water everywhere, Todd?

That’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

My Dad is about to flip out! Think you’re really funny, don’t you?

Now, don’t you go falling in love with it now, ’cause we’re taking it with us when we leave here next month.

I don’t know if I oughta go sailin’ down no hill with nothin’ between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big? Bend over and I’ll show you.

I’ll be back in two seconds. I’ll be asleep in two seconds.

Why? Is your house on fire, Clark? No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

We were gonna call, but Eddie wanted to make it a surprise.

No, but someone’s going to catch a cold going like that. Well, good thing we’re in a warm car now, huh?

This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!

You see a lot of people don’t work the way I do. They punch a clock, they have to answer to somebody else. That wouldn’t work for me.

Clark, I didn’t want to say anything in front of the kids. You, ah, checked our, ah, shitters, honey?

I had no idea. When did they put that in?

I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this. I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of shit, man.

This year we’re all gonna have a lot more Christmas.

I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.

Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects things that you actually care about. And, well, I mean, I guess what I’ve been trying to say is – I’m sorry.

The jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.

If that thing had nine lives, it just used them all.