On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.
You can’t sit with us.
I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m popular.
Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
I’m a mouse, duh.
That’s so fetch!
Boo, you whore.
You smell like a baby prostitute.
I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.
She doesn’t even go here!
You go, Glen Coco!
Why are you so obsessed with me?
Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.
I’m not a regular person, I’m cool!
Is butter a carb?
I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.
That is so not fetch.
Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier.
I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.
You can’t just ask people why they’re white.
I don’t hate you because you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you.
Don’t dumb yourself down for a guy. If he can’t handle your intelligence, he’s not worth it.
If you’re from Africa, why are you white?
I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.
What is the 411? What has everybody been up to?
I don’t hate you, because it’s against the rules to hate someone as pretty as you.
You’re a mean girl. You’re a bitch.
I’m gonna tell you something about that guy you like. You can’t always get what you want.
Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang.
Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin, because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.
In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.
Gretchen, stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen! It’s not going to happen!
You could try Sears.
I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.
Is your muffin buttered?
Vintage; so adorable!
The limit does not exist.
I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.
Made out with a hot dog? Oh, my God, that was one time!
You can’t join Mathletes. It’s social suicide!
Her hair is full of secrets.
Grool. I meant to say cool, but then I started to say great.
That boy is a problem.
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