Quotes from The Office

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. – Michael Scott

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott

I’m not a hero. I’m a high functioning weirdo. – Creed Bratton

I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out. – Kelly Kapoor

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. – Michael Scott

I think I’m a role model for those who don’t have a lot of ambition. – Stanley Hudson

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday. – Michael Scott

There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point? – Pam Beesly

I’m not going to be ignored, Michael! – Jan Levinson

I am Beyoncé, always. – Michael Scott

I’m not a vampire, I’m a night person. – Dwight Schrute

I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you. – Angela Martin

The worst thing about prison was the dementors. – Michael Scott

I have the strength of a grown man and a baby. – Dwight Schrute

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. – Dwight Schrute

Quotes from The Office part 2

I’m not ashamed to do the full-on power slob. I’ll eat ribs, wings, anything that won’t eat me first. – Jim Halpert

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need like my need to be praised. – Dwight Schrute

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year! – Dwight Schrute

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – Michael Scott

I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? – Chandler Bing

I’m not a bad guy. I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to hell? – Homer Simpson

You don’t deserve a donut, just because you’re sad. – April Ludgate

Some people say ‘don’t run with scissors.’ But I say, ‘who doesn’t want to run with scissors?’ – Pam Beesly

It takes years for someone to become an overnight success. – Michael Scott

In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s fear. – Dwight Schrute

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing. – Dwight Schrute

I love catching people in the act. That’s why I always whip open doors. – Andy Bernard

The worst thing about prison was the dementors. They were flying all over the place, and they were scary, and then they’d come down and they’d suck the soul out of your body. – Prison Mike (Michael Scott)

I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. – Dwight Schrute

Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing. – Michael Scott

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott

We have a gym at home. It’s called the bedroom. – Jim Halpert

There’s no such thing as an appropriate joke. That’s why it’s a joke. – Michael Scott

I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it, at all, and it’s terrible. – Michael Scott

I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them. – Andy Bernard

The only time I set the bar low is for limbo. – Michael Scott

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

I love the smell of bacon in the morning. Smells like victory. – Michael Scott

I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I’m going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. – Michael Scott

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And, if they would, I do not do that thing. – Dwight Schrute

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday. – Michael Scott

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing. – Michael Scott