Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV. – Morty Smith
Wubba lubba dub dub! – Rick Sanchez
Sometimes science is more art than science, Morty. A lot of people don’t get that. – Rick Sanchez
Get your shit together, Summer! – Rick Sanchez
Existence is pain, Jerry! – Rick Sanchez
Nobody’s killing me until after I catch my wife with another man! – Jerry Smith
I’m sorry, but your opinion means very little to me. – Rick Sanchez
Weddings are basically funerals with cake. – Rick Sanchez
I’m Pickle Rick! – Rick Sanchez
I’ll be there in spirit, but not in person. – Rick Sanchez
What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: Don’t think about it. – Rick Sanchez
Nobody has to do anything for anybody else. Everyone is just gonna keep not doing what they want. – Rick Sanchez
Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die! – Rick Sanchez
The world is full of idiots who don’t understand what’s important. And they’ll tear us apart, Morty. – Rick Sanchez
I’m more than just a hammer, Morty, I’m a full toolbox! – Rick Sanchez
Let’s get riggity riggity wrecked, son! – Rick Sanchez
Don’t break an arm jerking yourself off, Morty. – Rick Sanchez
I’m not looking for judgement, just a yes or no. – Rick Sanchez
I’m sorry, but your son’s been permanently incorporeal. You know, meaning, uh, dead. – Rick Sanchez
You’re a piece of shit, Jerry. Just not my kind of piece of shit. – Rick Sanchez
Don’t get drawn into the culture, Morty. – Rick Sanchez
I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning sociopath. – Rick Sanchez
Don’t hate the player, hate the game, son. – Rick Sanchez
I’m not a hipster. I’m a prolific consumer of counter culture. – Rick Sanchez
The universe is a simulation, Morty. What are you gonna do, fall in love and all that? – Rick Sanchez
Sometimes science is a lot more art than science. A lot of people don’t get that. – Rick Sanchez
You’re stupid, your ideas are stupid, and your forehead is stupid. – Rick Sanchez
There is no god, Summer. Gotta rip that band-aid off now, you’ll thank me later. – Rick Sanchez
Existence isn’t just pain, Jerry. The existence of anyone anywhere is a terror to behold. – Rick Sanchez
I’m Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! – Mr. Meeseeks
Nobody belongs anywhere, nobody exists on purpose, everybody’s going to die. Come watch TV? – Morty Smith
It’s a Rick and Jerry adventure! Rick and Jerry! – Rick Sanchez
Get off the high road, Summer. We all got pink eye because you won’t stop texting on the toilet. – Rick Sanchez
Keep Jerry locked in a room while you’re doing science! – Rick Sanchez
Oh yea, you gotta get schwifty! – Rick Sanchez
I’ll tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It’s a waste of time! Bunch of people running around bumping into each other, got a guy up front says 2 + 2, and the people in the back say
Then all the kids repeat it. Then they give you a test, and you gotta say
It’s not even right half the time! – Rick Sanchez
I don’t respect therapy. Because it’s not a science. It’s a mechanical harvesting of semi-conscious misery. – Rick Sanchez
You can’t have a society that’s 100% people smashing each other in the dick. – Rick Sanchez
It’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere, it’s more like a song you can sing anywhere. – Rick Sanchez
That’s the difference between you and me, Morty. I never go back to the carpet store. – Rick Sanchez
Do you think that’s a smart idea, Morty? Giving a gun to a scientist? – Rick Sanchez
Ugh, fuck you God, not today bitch! – Rick Sanchez
We jumped through a wormhole and it was like a time portal! – Morty Smith
What, so everyone’s supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time? – Rick Sanchez
Life is effort, Morty, and I’ll stop when I die! – Rick Sanchez
The answer is don’t think about it. – Rick Sanchez
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. – Rick Sanchez
You gotta do it for Grandpa Morty. – Rick Sanchez
Morty, I need your help on an adventure. Meet me at the garage. – Rick Sanchez
I can’t abide bureaucracy. I don’t play by the rules, Morty. I make my own. – Rick Sanchez
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