Desperation is a stinky cologne.
Put your hands on the dashboard, motherf**ker!
I’m freaking out, man!
I’m sorry, officer. I didn’t mean to upset you.
I can’t pull over any further.
Sorry about next weekend. I didn’t mention it to Thorny. Called me, alright?
Captain, can you please show us the repeater?
Bear f**ker!
Okay. Handy, write this down. Littering… ticket… ;
You boys like Mexico? YEAH!
Mother of God.
How many times have I told you? You don’t jump out and scare a black man! He can kill you!
What’s that smell?
I’m already pulling over!
I’m sorry, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in ’em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.
Enhance!
If you’re gonna spew, spew into this.
These snozberries taste like snozberries.
Car Ramrod!
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
Leon, I think you have a little bit of mustard there on your…on your mama.
I don’t want a large Farva, I want a goddamn liter of cola!
Hey Farva, what’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Shenanigans!
Come on, Thorny, what could we possibly be doing that could be so important?
I’ll pistol whip the next guy that says ‘shenanigans’!
I’m sorry, Officer, but I’m afraid I can’t comply with that request.
In the words of the immortal George Washington: ‘If you hit a pedestrian, make sure it’s not a cop.’
Say ‘car’ again. I dare you, I double dare you, motherf**ker. Say ‘car’ one more goddamn time.
Alright meow. Hand over your license and registration.
Say ‘pull over’ again! Say ‘pull over’ again! I dare you, I double dare you, motherf**ker. Say ‘pull over’ one more goddamn time!
I’m teaching a journalism class, here.
Hey, surveillance van guys!
I’m not gonna tase you. I’m gonna shoot you.
Captain O’Hagan: It doesn’t matter how we’re dressed, we’re on the same team now.
Burger punk. Excuse me? You heard me, burger punk.
Hey, let’s pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.
Bullsh*t! Motor 1 was nowhere near that deer!;
Come on, we got to go!
Hey, Farva! What’s the name of the place you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
Is anyone else freaking out about this? Because old George Washington is doing his thing on me.
Do I look like Betty Crocker to you?
We’re all out of syrup. What do you recommend, French toast?
Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight.
License and registration, chickenf**ker.
Who wants cream? Nobody? Okay, no cream.
If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!
I’m kind of a big deal.
You are freaking out…MAN!
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