The Best and Funniest Quotes from The Office

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. – Michael Scott

I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning weirdo. – Jim Halpert

I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out. – Kelly Kapoor

I am running away from my responsibilities, and it feels good. – Michael Scott

I declare bankruptcy! – Michael Scott

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. It’s like jazz – improvisation. – Michael Scott

I’m not boring. People think I’m boring. But I’m not. – Angela Martin

I’m not a bad boss. I just don’t believe in doing anything. – Michael Scott

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday. – Andy Bernard

I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious. – Michael Scott

I don’t care what they say about me. I just wanna eat. – Pam Beesly

I’m not insane. My mother had me tested. – Dwight Schrute

Dinner party, invitation lost. Guess it’ll just be the two of us… and Angela… and her cats. – Michael Scott

I would never miss an opportunity to eat cake. No wedding, no problem. – Kevin Malone

The Best and Funniest Quotes from The Office part 2

I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. – Michael Scott

I am fast. To give you a reference point, I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther. – Dwight Schrute

I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. – Michael Scott

I love the smell of bacon in the morning. – Stanley Hudson

I’m not sure if you were aware, but I’m kind of a big deal around here. – Michael Scott

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going, I just hope I find it along the way. – Michael Scott

Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online. – Michael Scott

I’m not defensive. And I’m not defensive. – Andy Bernard

I am Beyoncé, always. – Michael Scott

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott

I am fast. To give you a reference point, I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther. – Dwight Schrute

I’m not saying I’m Batman. I’m just saying nobody has ever seen me and Batman in a room together. – Jim Halpert

Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy. So I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls. – Angela Martin

I’m not a bad employee, I’m just a misunderstood genius. – Dwight Schrute

I love catching people in the act. That’s why I always whip open doors. – Creed Bratton

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

People say I am the best boss. They go, ‘God, we’ve never worked in a place like this before. You’re hilarious. And you get the best out of us. – Michael Scott

I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve. – Dwight Schrute

I’m not a fancy person. I mean, I wear a belt most of the time. Murder? That’s a fancy person’s crime. – Michael Scott

I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning weirdo. – Jim Halpert

Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl Store and order clothes for large colonial dolls. – Angela Martin

I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me. – Dwight Schrute

I’m not really into the whole brevity thing. – Michael Scott

I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them. – Andy Bernard

I’m not a bad boss. I just have a different management style. – Michael Scott

Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a yacht to pull up right alongside it. – Michael Scott

There have been a lot of times in my life when I’ve had apples, and I’ve had sed. This… is not sed. – Michael Scott

I’m not a loser. I’m not a loser. I’m not a loser. No, I’m not. – Stanley Hudson

I’m not unattractive, but I don’t consider myself a hottie. – Phyllis Vance

I’m not a big fan of irony. I think it’s sort of like goldy and bronzy, only it’s made of iron. – Michael Scott