Life is like a sandwich – no matter how you flip it, it’s still just bread.
Motivation is overrated; it’s easier to just stay in bed.
Dreams are for sleeping, not for chasing.
Why be successful when you can just be average?
You miss 100% of the shots you never take, but at least you don’t miss out on disappointment.
Happiness is just a state of mind, and mine is perpetually on vacation.
Procrastination is like a credit card – it’s easy to use, but the interest is crippling.
If at first you don’t succeed, maybe it’s just not meant to be.
Confidence is overrated – have you met the world?
The only thing consistent about life is its inconsistency.
Don’t worry about making a lasting impression; everyone will forget about you eventually.
You can’t change the world, but you can definitely make it worse.
Perfection is unattainable, and so is a fulfilling life.
It’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all – said no one ever.
The glass isn’t half empty or half full; it’s just plain empty.
The early bird may catch the worm, but what’s the point if you’re still always hungry?
Life is like a rollercoaster – filled with ups and downs, but ultimately ends in nausea.
Success is temporary, but failure feels eternal.
Hope is for optimists who still believe in fairy tales.
Hard work pays off, but laziness is so much more comfortable.
The grass is always greener on the other side, because you never have to mow it.
Life’s too short to make a difference, so just enjoy the ride.
Don’t follow your dreams; let them sleep while you binge-watch Netflix.
Love is blind, but it’s also overrated.
The only thing certain in life is uncertainty.
Pro tip: Set low expectations, and you’ll never be disappointed.
The secret to happiness is to lower your expectations of it.
Life is like a Rubik’s cube – frustrating and pointless.
Time heals all wounds, except for the ones that never stop bleeding.
It’s not failure if you never even try.
Mediocrity is a safe bet in a world full of disappointment.
There’s no I in team, but there’s definitely a me.
Set realistic goals, and you’ll never achieve anything great.
The secret to success is to simply avoid failure.
Don’t strive to be the best; strive to be the least worst.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy comfort, convenience, and distraction.
Life is like a never-ending to-do list, and it’s impossible to check everything off.
The only thing constant in life is regret.
It’s not about the destination; it’s about the frustrating, disappointing journey.
Don’t aim for the stars; aim for the gutter.
The best things in life are free, so why bother working for anything?
Surround yourself with negative people, and you’ll feel right at home.
The only certainty in life is that it will always let you down.
Passion is overrated – enthusiasm is exhausting.
Happiness is fleeting and contentment is a myth.
Life is short, so make sure you spend it overthinking every decision.
Love is a gamble, and the odds are never in your favor.
The only thing worse than failure is the fear of it.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy distractions from the emptiness.
Life is like a puzzle, and the pieces never seem to fit together.
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