Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can talk with his fists.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can unscramble scrambled eggs.
Chuck Norris doesn’t age, he levels up.
Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with the Sun.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with no birds.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik’s Cube in one move.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can hold his breath for ten years.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris can hear what you’re thinking… about him.
Chuck Norris can kill you with a thought. He chooses not to out of mercy.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris can lift a house by its doorknob.
Chuck Norris can bite a grape and turn it into a raisin.
Chuck Norris can drink water and think it’s lemonade.
Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of sand.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two icebergs together.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling Bang!
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
Chuck Norris can bake cookies in his armpits.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a spoon to eat soup. He eats it directly from the bowl.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can whistle in four different languages.
Chuck Norris can write a book, lock it in a safe, and throw away the key.
Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you in the back of your face.
Chuck Norris can make a snow angel in cement.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a wireless mouse.
Chuck Norris can make onions cry tears of joy.
Chuck Norris can hear silent movie dialogue.