Love is in the air, but so is my sense of humor.Valentine's Day may be overrated, but my ability to…
I find motivation in knowing that my alarm clock can't beat me.Work hard so you can buy all the coffee…
Roses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day is sweet, just like you!Love is like a box of chocolates, sometimes…
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. And if you can't love it, learn…
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. - Michael ScottSometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even…
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every…
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes - she hugged me.I…
Life is too short to take anything seriously, except for pizza toppings.Life is like a box of chocolates, but I…
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...she gave me a hug.Common sense is like deodorant – the people…
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a…
I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself…
I only drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.Three drinks a day keeps the doctor away...…
I like my coffee like I like my mornings - dark and strong! Coffee: because adulting is hard! Behind every…
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.I told my…
Laughter is the best medicine, but I didn't go to medical school. I told my wife she should embrace her…
Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not.Do or do not. There is…
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy saving mode. I'm not…
A successful relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.A relationship should be built on…
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. - Michael Scott Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't…
My job is so funny, I laugh all the way to the office!Work is so funny, I could write a…