Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to sail right up to it.I asked my…
I asked the librarian if she had a book on paranoia, she leaned in close and whispered, 'They're right behind…
Marriage is like a deck of cards – you need a heart to love, a diamond to marry, a club…
Love is grand, but chocolate is even sweeter!I'm single and ready to mingle this Valentine's Day!They say love is blind,…
New Year's resolutions are just like babies: fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain.My New Year's resolution is to…
Who needs a Christmas tree when you can just decorate a pile of laundry?Christmas cheer: the only time of year…
I'm dreaming of a beach vacation, where the only worry is how many shades of suntan lotion to bring.Holidays are…
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet! The only workout I'll be doing this holiday is lifting a…
I'm so scared of Halloween, I'm dressing up as a normal person.Halloween is the one night a year when people…
One Christmas I got a sweater from my grandma that I wanted to re-gift. It's still making its way around…
I may not be able to lift heavy weights, but I can lift your spirits with my hilarious gym stories!…
El éxito no es la clave de la felicidad, la felicidad es la clave del éxito. - Albert SchweitzerLa vida…
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. - Elbert HubbardThe only way to…
Life is too short to be taken seriously, so laugh and enjoy the ride!Don't cry because it's over, laugh because…
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. - Thomas JeffersonWork hard, nap harder.If…
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy saving mode.Life…
High school: where weirdness is celebrated and normalcy is frowned upon.High school is like a zoo, and we're all the…
Love is a lot like a puzzle – you're always missing a piece, but somehow it still works.I love you…
Live, laugh, love, and eat cake!Remember, life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!Keep calm and eat chocolate.Don't wait…
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.A smile is the universal welcome.Happiness is a cupcake in each hand.Life is…