Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes – Adding Humor to the Celebrations

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather eat pizza, than go on a date with you.

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap.

Valentine’s Day: the only day of the year where it’s acceptable to buy someone’s love.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m only here for the chocolate, how about you?

Do I have a date for Valentine’s Day? Yes, it’s February 14th.

Who needs a Valentine when you can have pizza?

My love for you is like a burrito, cheesy and wrapped in foil.

I’m allergic to roses, but I’m not allergic to chocolate. Hint, hint.

Roses are red, violets are twisted, being single on Valentine’s Day, doesn’t make me bitter or twisted.

Love is in the air, along with germs and allergies.

Instead of a Valentine’s date, can I just get a refund on my gym membership?

Valentine’s Day is a reminder that I need to update my dating profile.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular on Valentine’s Day?

If all else fails, love your pet like it’s Valentine’s Day every day.

Being single on Valentine’s Day means I can eat all the chocolate without sharing.

Love is like a piñata, you have to blindly swing at it until you get what you want.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Instead of a Valentine, I’ll take a nap and a pizza, please.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes – Adding Humor to the Celebrations part 2

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ll be your Valentine, if you buy me food.

Valentine’s Day is just a yearly reminder of how single I am.

If love is a battlefield, then Valentine’s Day is definitely friendly fire.

My love for you is like a box of chocolates, better in small doses.

Valentine’s Day: the perfect opportunity to show your partner how much you spent on their gift.

If love is blind, dating online must be love at first swipe.

Roses are red, violets are blue, being in a relationship is expensive, I’m glad I’m not with you.

Cupid needs to work on his aim, because he keeps missing me.

Valentine’s Day: the only day where it’s acceptable to stalk people’s Instagrams for couple goals.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But not as sweet as chocolate.

Instead of a Valentine’s card, just give me a ticket to a tropical island, thanks!

Valentine’s Day: the perfect excuse to eat all the heart-shaped candies by yourself.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d much rather spend this day binge-watching my favorite TV show, wouldn’t you?

Who needs love when there’s Netflix and ice cream?

Valentine’s Day is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get dumped with.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and I’m totally okay with that too.

Valentine’s Day is just a conspiracy by greeting card companies to make money.

Being single on Valentine’s Day means I don’t have to share my dessert with anyone.

Roses are red, rejection is tough, Valentine’s Day is a great reminder that I’m not good enough.

Who needs a Valentine when you have a sense of humor?

Valentine’s Day: a reminder that I’m one year closer to becoming a crazy cat person.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a dollar for every time I was single on Valentine’s Day, I’d be rich too.

Valentine’s Day: the annual reminder that my parents have a more successful love life than I do.

Cupid really needs to brush up on his targeting skills, because he’s been missing me since forever.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather hang out with my dog than be with you.

Valentine’s Day is just a fancy way of saying ‘Please don’t forget to buy me presents and chocolate.’

I may be single, but at least I don’t have to share my pizza on Valentine’s Day.