Funny Drinking Quotes – Cheers to Hilarity!

Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water.

I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.

I might not be perfect, but my drink selection is.

I exercise regularly – I drink Beer.

I don’t always drink, but when I do, I make sure it’s the good stuff.

Alcohol: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.

Drink responsibly – don’t spill it.

I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution.

I don’t trust people who don’t drink. How can you be sure they’re real?

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a professional happy hour enthusiast.

I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday, and when it’s not.

Why have a glass half empty when you can have a glass half full of wine?

Alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.

I don’t need a reason to drink, I just need a beverage.

I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m a gravity enthusiast.

Wine flies when you’re having fun.

I only drink to make other people more interesting.

It’s not drinking alone if the dog is home.

I drink to make other people more tolerable.

I’m not drunk, just avoiding potholes in my path to success.

In wine years, I’m considered a classic.

I drink so that I can dance like nobody’s watching, even though everybody is.

Funny Drinking Quotes – Cheers to Hilarity! part 2

I drink to forget… to forget why I started drinking in the first place.

I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right – with a drink in hand.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a fermented beverage appreciator.

Drinking alcohol is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

I’m not sure if I need a hug or a bottle of wine. Maybe both?

Whiskey is like liquid sunshine.

I’m not old, I’m aged to perfection, like a fine wine.

I like to stop and smell the rosé.

I’ve never been drunk, just pleasantly tipsy with moments of clarity.

Life is too short to drink bad wine.

Beer: because you can’t drink bacon.

I always give 100%… when someone orders another round.

I like my coffee cold and my cocktails strong.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a professional cocktail taster.

Wine is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.

I’m not drunk, just embracing my inner silliness.

I drink because adulting is hard and wine makes everything better.

Some people say I drink too much, but I think I drink just the right amount.

I don’t need a goal in life, I need a glass.

I don’t need a Valentine, I just need a bottle of wine.

I don’t cry over spilled milk, but I might shed a tear over spilled wine.

I’m not a quitter, but I’ll surrender to a good cocktail.

I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a ‘finding parking near the bar’ problem.