I exercise because I love food, not because I love working out.
Running late is my cardio.
Exercise is my therapy session, except I can’t talk back to the treadmill.
Sweating is just my body crying because I’m forcing it to be healthy.
I run, not because I like it, but because I really enjoy stopping.
I workout because it’s the only time I can listen to my favorite songs guilt-free.
Zucchini noodles are just God’s way of punishing us for not eating real pasta.
There should be a reward for finishing a workout, like getting to eat a whole pizza.
I work out because I like to eat my body weight in dessert.
If one day, speed kills me, do not cry because I was smiling.
Exercise is my way of pretending to be a superhero, minus the cape and cool powers.
Squats don’t cure everything, but they’re a good start.
I don’t sweat, I sparkle.
I have a love-hate relationship with burpees. Most days it’s hate, but I try to appreciate the love days.
Fitness is just a way to escape adulting for a little while.
I’m not running from my problems, I’m running to the nearest bakery.
My exercise routine is 90% avocado toast, 10% actual exercising.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. And by sorry, I mean I’m going to eat a snack and forget about it.
Being sore after a workout is my body’s way of telling me I really nailed it.
Fitness Tip: Always carry a bag of snacks in your gym bag, just in case.
If you can’t laugh at your own workout fails, you’re taking life too seriously.
Abs are great, but have you tried donuts?
I don’t always exercise, but when I do, I prefer to do it in my pajamas.
Squat because no one wants a pancake booty.
I do yoga to relieve stress, but mainly because it’s socially acceptable to lie down and do nothing.
I don’t do marathons, but I do binge-watch multiple seasons in one sitting.
Fitness is like a good joke; it’s even better when you share it with friends.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
I work out because I know it’s only a matter of time before Taco Tuesday rolls around again.
I tried a new workout routine once. It was called ‘Not Working Out’ and it did not work out so well.
Surround yourself with people who get your fitness humor, so you can laugh while you sweat.
I don’t sweat, I just glisten charmingly.
Running away from my responsibilities is my preferred form of cardio.
If exercise was a competition, I’d win at coming up with excuses to skip it.
I work out because I want to be a superhero, but this gym doesn’t come with a cape or cool powers.
My level of motivation is directly proportional to the amount of food waiting for me at the finish line.
No pain, no gain, but have you tried gaining by sitting on the couch?
I tried to do a push-up once. It didn’t work out, so I pushed up the remote instead.
I love my workout buddies because they’re the only ones who understand my unintentional funny faces during a tough workout.
Some people say laughter is the best medicine. I say it’s chocolate, but exercise is a close second.
I’m not saying I’m a professional at working out, but I can eat a burger while doing squats, so that counts for something.
If exercising means I can eat more dessert, then count me in!
My body is a temple, and my dumbbells are its priest.
My workout motto: Dance like nobody’s watching, except everyone actually is because I have no coordination.
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