Funny Holiday Quotes

I’m dreaming of a beach vacation, where the only worry is how many shades of suntan lotion to bring.

Holidays are like diets—there’s always tomorrow to start again.

My holiday plans? Eat, sleep, swim, repeat.

Vacation calories don’t count…until they show up on the scale.

The only exercise I’ll be doing on vacation is flipping through the cocktail menu.

Life is short. Take the vacation, buy the shoes, eat the cake.

Drinks with tiny umbrellas automatically taste 50% better.

Every great vacation starts with the words ‘Hold my passport.’

Happiness is a passport stamp.

I’m on a seafood diet—when I see food, I eat it!

The best way to spread holiday cheer is by singing loud for all to hear. Or just drinking more eggnog.

If a vacation doesn’t involve getting lost, then it’s not an adventure worth having.

My favorite travel destination? Anywhere with Wi-Fi and room service.

Traveling is the only thing you can spend money on that makes you richer.

How to have a beach body?

Have a body.

Go to the beach.

The only thing better than a vacation is planning the next one!

I need a vacation that lasts six months, twice a year.

I didn’t choose the beach life, the beach life chose me.

I’m not a tourist, I’m a professional vacationer.

I’m not lost—I’m exploring.

Funny Holiday Quotes part 2

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket, and that’s pretty close.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

My holiday motto: ‘Treat yo’self!’

Family holidays: the only time ‘Why not?’ becomes ‘Because I said so!’

Vacations are the best excuse to wear your pajamas 24/7.

I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.

Holidays are the best excuse to overindulge and pretend the calories don’t count.

If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine—it’s lethal.

I’m not anti-social, I’m just pro-vacation.

Jet lag is just your soul saying, ‘Catch me later.’

Need an escape? Just add a beach.

I’m not short, I’m just concentrated cuteness.

Running away from my responsibilities? Nah, just on a much-needed holiday.

When life gives you lemons, swap them for coconuts and have a beach party.

Vacations are like a glass of champagne for the soul.

I don’t need a holiday. My soul is already on a permanent vacation mode.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Holidays are like relationships: they’re best when they’re hot and sunny.

The only tan lines I want are from my inflatable flamingo float.

Life is better in flip-flops and sunglasses.

Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer in memories, but poorer in savings.

A vacation is not complete without emptying your wallet on souvenirs you’ll never use.

Paradise is just a coconut away.

I’m not lazy, I’m energy-efficient.

Holiday Rule #1: Have fun. Rule #2: See Rule #1.