Funny Positive Quotes – Spreading Laughter and Optimism

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

A smile is the universal welcome.

Happiness is a cupcake in each hand.

Life is better when you’re laughing.

If you stumble, make it part of the dance.

Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.

I can resist everything except temptation… and chocolate.

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and find someone whose life gave them vodka, and have a party!

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m just trying not to throw up.

I may be crazy but at least I have fun.

The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange the furniture.

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Life is too short to wear boring socks.

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.

Optimism is the best way to see life without actually opening your eyes.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for future tasks.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

I don’t need a prince charming, I need someone who can make me laugh.

Funny Positive Quotes – Spreading Laughter and Optimism part 2

I don’t make mistakes, I create unexpected outcomes.

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

I strive to be a glow stick: I may not light up a room, but I’ll suspend darkness for a while.

Coffee: because adulting is hard.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.

I don’t sugarcoat the truth, I chocolate coat it.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for future genius ideas.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

I like my coffee like I like my mornings: bright and full of possibilities.

I’m not sleeping, I’m just practicing my meditation.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just doing a gravity check.

Happiness is not having to set an alarm for the next day.

I’m not broke, I’m just experiencing negative cash flow.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Shopping is my cardio.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my bed gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.

If you can’t remember my name, just call me ‘Awesome’. It’s probably easier to remember anyway.

I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.

I don’t make mistakes, I have unplanned adventures.

Life is too short for boring socks and bad coffee.