Laugh Your Way through Life with these Hilarious Quotes!

Life is like a potato chip, you can’t just have one!

I’m not lazy, I’m just on power-saving mode.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me, I’ll laugh at you.

The only exercise I do is running out of patience.

Life is like a camera, focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.

Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often anyway.

I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

My bed and I have a special relationship, we’re perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

I believe in karma, that’s why I eat cookies in bed, just in case I’m reincarnated as a worm.

Life is a rollercoaster, and I’m the one screaming!

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

Life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Life is too short to hold grudges, so I’m off to Disneyland!

Laugh Your Way through Life with these Hilarious Quotes! part 2

I’m not lazy, I’m just saving my energy for something better.

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Life is like a box of chocolates, I can never resist finishing it all in one sitting.

I’m not aging, I’m just increasing in value.

My goal in life is to have a fridge filled with food and a closet filled with clothes that fit me.

You don’t need a parachute to skydive, you only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a magician!

Life is too short to be stuck in traffic.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for important things in life, like napping.

You never truly understand life until you’ve eaten pizza for breakfast.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

Life is too short for boring hair.

I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

Forget the haters, even Jesus was a biscuit.

My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.

Life is like a refrigerator, you have to take out the old stuff to make room for the new.

I’m not clumsy, I just have a magnetic attraction to the ground.

I’m not late, everyone else is just early.

Life is short, buy the shoes!

I don’t want to adult today, I want to dog.

I don’t need a personal trainer, I need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy food out of my hand.

I don’t need anger management, people just need to stop pissing me off.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Life is too short to be serious all the time, so sprinkle some humor into it and laugh!

I’m not old, I’m just vintage!