Laughs Galore – Funniest Clever Quotes

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Why be moody when you can shake your booty?

If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving is definitely not for you.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I’d probably hire someone to pick up my money.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just taking the floor for a spontaneous dance.

Without ME, it’s just AWESO.

The only exercise I do is running out of patience.

I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness for the right moment.

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Never trust an atom, they make up everything!

I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.

I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

I didn’t fall, the floor just needed a hug.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Laughs Galore – Funniest Clever Quotes part 2

If I won the lottery, I’d donate some to charity and keep the rest for shopping.

Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most never use it.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-efficient mode.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

I live in a constant state of readiness for the zombie apocalypse.

In a world full of Kardashians, be a Phoebe.

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

I always carry a pen in my pocket, because you never know when someone may ask for an autograph.

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I only speak in emoji to confuse my family and friends.

If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d probably finish last.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most never use it.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

I live in a constant state of readiness for the zombie apocalypse.

In a world full of Kardashians, be a Phoebe.

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

I always carry a pen in my pocket because you never know when someone may ask for an autograph.