Memorable Quotes from Napoleon Dynamite

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

I spent like three hours polishing my nunchucks skills.

Vote for me, and all of your wildest dreams will come true.

Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner!

I caught you a delicious bass.

I see you’re drinking 1% milk. Is that ’cause you think you’re fat?

I don’t even have any good skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want their boyfriends to have great skills.

And I said, ‘Whatever, I’ll do what I want.’

I caught you a delicious bass. You wanna play Sandy?

I’d like to see you try and hit me! I bet you can’t even swing that thing.

Pedro offers you his protection.

Your mom goes to college.

I’m really good at drawing unicorns, too. Have you ever seen one? Have you ever seen a unicorn?

This one gang kept wanting me to join ’cause I’m pretty good with a bo staff.

I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.

You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys?

Tina, come get some ham!

A frickin’ 12-gauge, what do you think?

I caught you a delicious bass. You’re welcome.

Do you think people will vote for me?

How’s your neck?

Napoleon, give me some of your tots.

I don’t need anybody. And I’m not a nerd. I’m a video-hipster.

Memorable Quotes from Napoleon Dynamite part 2

Nunchuck skills… bowhunting skills… computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!

Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it ’cause I can’t fit my nunchucks in there anymore.

Grandma just called and said you’re supposed to go home.

I see you’re eating all the pizza. You think I’m not hungry?

Are you drinking 1%? Because you think you’re fat? You’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

I love technology, but not as much as you, you see.

Just tell them that their wildest dreams will come true if they vote for you.

Yesssssssssss.

Do you think I’m being a little too rough on him?

I like your sleeves. They’re real big.

Ever take it off any sweet jumps?

Give me your tots.

Can I use your guys’s phone for a second?

I see you’re drinking 1%. Does that mean you think you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

How am I supposed to eat without any bling?

I like your sleeves. They’re real big.

You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff.

You have the worst reflexes of all time.

I don’t even have any good skills. You know, like numchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Bust must make you feel tough and manly, right?

If you want to win, you just have to vote for Pedro.

My lips hurt real bad!