Quotes

I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.

On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Is butter a carb?

I stopped eating carbs, except on days that end in 'Y'.

My hair is full of secrets.

I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm popular.

I'm not like a re...
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Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.

Stupid is as stupid does.

My momma always said, 'You’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.'

You have to do the best with what God gave you.

Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks.

Run, Forrest, run!

I may not be ...
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Fashion fades, only style remains the same. - Chanel

Elegance is not standing out, but being remembered. - Chanel

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. - Chanel

Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance. - Chanel

Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman. - C...
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Sometimes the biggest up is just around the corner.

Ups and downs are a natural part of life's rollercoaster.

Every up is a chance to celebrate and embrace growth.

Rising above challenges is what makes us stronger.

In every up, there is a valuable lesson to be learned.

The best view comes after reaching the highest ...
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Teamwork makes the dream work, but a sense of humor makes the teamwork!

In teamwork, there's always room for a good laugh and a silly dance.

A successful team is like a joke, it's all about perfect timing and delivery.

Teamwork makes every task lighter, especially when you laugh together!

Teaming up with funny people is t...
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I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy saving mode.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... She gave me a hug.

My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Never trust a dog to guard your food, but never underestimate ...
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I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. - Michael Scott

I declare bankruptcy! - Michael Scott

Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. - Michael Scott

I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close. Then I t...
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I'm king of the world! - Titanic

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. - Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I'll be back. - The Terminator

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. - Notting Hill

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being ...
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I pretend to work because they pretend to pay me.

The key to productivity: coming up with creative ways to avoid work.

My job description should really include 'professional coffee drinker.'

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.

Work hard so you can buy the office snacks you really want.

I'm an expert at multitas...
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Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

A day without laughter is a day wasted. - Charlie Chaplin

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. - Victor Hugo

Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever. - Walt Disney

Laughter is an instant vacation. - Mil...
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Friends who make you laugh so hard you snort are keepers.

A good friend will lend you their umbrella. A best friend will steal yours and laugh while you get soaked.

Friends don't let friends do embarrassing things alone.

Friends are like bras, close to your heart and always supportive.

A true friend will always make you l...
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I love you more than pizza, and that's saying a lot!

You stole my heart, but I know you'll take good care of it.

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably crap.

You make my heart skip a beat, and my mind forgot to press 'play'.

I love you so much, I'd share my nachos with you.

You're the reason I l...
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Life is too short to take everything seriously, so laugh more often!

If something is too hard, just remember that you can always try the easy way. It's called Google.

The key to happiness? A good sense of humor and a fridge full of chocolate.

Life is like a roller coaster – full of ups and downs, but way more enjoyable when y...
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My husband is like a comedian without an audience - he's always cracking jokes, even when no one else is around.

I didn't marry my husband for his cooking skills, but for the endless entertainment of watching him burn water.

Husbands are like WiFi - sometimes they work perfectly, other times you just want to throw them out the window...
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Exercise is my escape from reality, which is ironic because it makes my body ache.

I like to think of exercise as a form of physical comedy – my body stumbling and struggling, providing endless entertainment.

They say laughter is the best medicine, but I prefer a good workout. It hurts just as much but lasts longer!

I don't h...
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I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm not blonde.

I'm not a natural beauty. My attitude is my best accessory.

It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.

I'm not high maintenance, I'm just high performance.

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

I don't mind livi...
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Life is like a dance floor - sometimes you step on toes, but in the end, it's all about having fun.

I asked the doctor if I could have a little 'me time.' He prescribed me a coffee machine!

Life is too short to be taken seriously - laugh, smile, and eat chocolate!

I've finally discovered the secret to a happy life: a good sense...
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I'm not a Grinch, I just have selective Christmas cheer.

Christmas is great, it's the carolers that need to be stopped.

I put the 'bah' in 'bah humbug.'

Christmas is like a snowflake – beautiful, but cold and annoying.

The only thing I like about Christmas is the cookies.

Who needs presents when you can have a nap...
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