Quotes for every day

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she hugged

Life is too short to take anything seriously, except for pizza toppings. Life is like a box of chocolates, but

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug. Common sense is like deodorant – the

I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself

I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. Three drinks a day keeps the doctor

I like my coffee like I like my mornings – dark and strong! Coffee: because adulting is hard! Behind every

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode. I

Laughter is the best medicine, but I didn’t go to medical school. I told my wife she should embrace her

Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not. Do or do not. There

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode. I’m not

A successful relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. A relationship should be built

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t

My job is so funny, I laugh all the way to the office! Work is so funny, I could write

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to sail right up to it. I asked

I asked the librarian if she had a book on paranoia, she leaned in close and whispered, ‘They’re right behind

Marriage is like a deck of cards – you need a heart to love, a diamond to marry, a club

Love is grand, but chocolate is even sweeter! I’m single and ready to mingle this Valentine’s Day! They say love

New Year’s resolutions are just like babies: fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain. My New Year’s resolution is

Who needs a Christmas tree when you can just decorate a pile of laundry? Christmas cheer: the only time of