Quotes for every day

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself

I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. Three drinks a day keeps the doctor

I like my coffee like I like my mornings – dark and strong! Coffee: because adulting is hard! Behind every

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode. I

Laughter is the best medicine, but I didn’t go to medical school. I told my wife she should embrace her

Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not. Do or do not. There

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode. I’m not

A successful relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. A relationship should be built

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t

My job is so funny, I laugh all the way to the office! Work is so funny, I could write

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to sail right up to it. I asked

I asked the librarian if she had a book on paranoia, she leaned in close and whispered, ‘They’re right behind

Marriage is like a deck of cards – you need a heart to love, a diamond to marry, a club

Love is grand, but chocolate is even sweeter! I’m single and ready to mingle this Valentine’s Day! They say love

New Year’s resolutions are just like babies: fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain. My New Year’s resolution is

Who needs a Christmas tree when you can just decorate a pile of laundry? Christmas cheer: the only time of

I’m dreaming of a beach vacation, where the only worry is how many shades of suntan lotion to bring. Holidays

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet! The only workout I’ll be doing this holiday is lifting a

I’m so scared of Halloween, I’m dressing up as a normal person. Halloween is the one night a year when

One Christmas I got a sweater from my grandma that I wanted to re-gift. It’s still making its way around